Apprendre le francais

For a long time, I've wanted to learn French.  I started doing just that a few weeks ago.  Teaching myself with the help of a book and Google Translate (to get pronunciation).  So far, I've cracked the surface.  I'm starting small and branching outward.  All the chapters in the book start out with a paragraph in French, mostly untranslated.  Some of the words and phrases are translated, but most aren't.  When I got to the second chapter's paragraph, I was a little shocked at how much I could read of it.  It's feeding my enthusiasm to keep going.  That's crucial, because before I read that paragraph, I was wondering what I'd gotten into.

I hope to be somewhat fluent in six months.  It'll be a challenge to maintain it.  I don't have a reason to speak French on any kind of regular basis.  But I can seek out French language news sites, read French books, watch more French movies.  These can help.  Once I can get to a certain level, I'll be able to move to the French Riviera and not worry about how to communicate.  Step 2 in this plan is, of course, winning the lottery.

The War of Southern Aggression

Today is the 150th anniversary of the beginning of the Civil War.

As a kid, moreso as a teenager, I had a very focused interest on World War II.  I remember that my grandparents had a set of World War II encyclopedias that dated back to the 50s.  I would grab them from the bookcase they were in and look at them obsessively.  I read nonfiction books on the war that I bought at the local drugstore.  Bantam paperbacks were my favorite.  Every month, they seemed to have a new book out by a veteran about their corner of the global conflict.  I devoured so many of them.

By contrast, the Civil War held very little interest.  When my mother and I lived in Delaware, my class took a field trip to Pea Patch Island, a small dot of land located in the middle of the Delaware River.  It was a Union fort during the war, and held Confederate prisoners.  It is marked in my memory as a cold, dark place.  The old prison cells were cast in impenetrable shadows, the walls covered with slime.  I couldn't imagine anyone staying in them.  There wasn't much to see there by the time I had arrived.  The highlight of my visit was a stop at the gift store, where I was able to purchase a couple ceramic figurines--a Union officer and soldier.  I wasn't at all interested in any Confederate troops.  After all, they were the bad guys, fighting to keep a race of people enslaved, and they were rightfully the losers.  Until presently, that was probably the peak of my interest in the war.  Apart from a children's book which told the story of the battle of Gettysburg, and contained the full text of Lincoln's address, I had nothing else regarding that period in history.

The identification with the moral stance of the North made sense to my childish outlook.  That never changed, however.  I still feel strongly about it.  It boggles my mind how a vast section of the country could've fought and shed so much blood over such an inherently evil institution as slavery.  PBS recently replayed Ken Burns' documentary about the war.  I watched much of it with renewed curiosity as the anniversary approached.  It's scary to think how many victories the South tallied up in the first few years.  As Lincoln struggled to find a general who could properly wield the Union armies, which in many battles outnumbered the Rebels, he despaired of ever gaining the upper hand.  The pivotal fight of the war, Gettysburg, was exactly what the North needed at the time.  Robert E. Lee's air of invincibility had been shattered, and the tide at last began to turn, though it wouldn't be the end of Confederate victories.  It wasn't clear that the North had the war sewn up until at least late 1864.



Sherman's March to the Sea



As Burns' epic account wound to a close, I couldn't help but feel immense righteousness and vindication in Sherman's march to the sea.  He left a trail of destruction unparalleled on this continent, while the hugely diminished Rebel armies bounced off his flanks like flies.  After reaching Savannah, he turned north towards South Carolina, where the fever of secession had been born.  His troops' wrath was multiplied there.  Speaking of his men, he said, “The whole army is burning with an insatiable desire to wreak violence upon South Carolina. I almost tremble for her fate.”  Whenever I thought about what the South was fighting for, and the enthusiasm with which it set about fighting, thinking some God was on its side, I could feel the desire that those Union soldiers must've felt.  Ironically, southerners who like to make themselves feel better often refer to the conflict as the "War of Northern Aggression," when it was actually the South who fired the first shot.  Even today, many in the south try to re-characterize the war as a battle for states rights.  But this has always been a code phrase for racism.  Rational beings know the main reason this war was fought.

The South's intransigence was a heavy price for the nation to pay.  An incredible 620,000 casualties on both sides, not counting civilian deaths.  Reconstruction in the years after failed, and segregation and further murder and oppression of blacks would go on for another century.  On the other hand, it propelled the country toward industrialization at light speed.  America would no longer be an agrarian society.  It sowed the seeds for our dominance in the decades to come.  I also believe, at least until the Second World War, that it cured us of being a militaristic society.  We too easily forget history though.

Now that the sesquicentennial is here, and I'm alive to see it, I'm going to take a closer look at at this war.  I'm thinking of taking a trip down to Gettysburg and visiting the battlefield as well.  The divisive nature of that point in history seems to mirror the present circumstances we find ourselves in politically.  Having our first black president imbues the struggle with that much more meaning.

Congolese Death Virus

Recovering from what has to be the worst stomach virus I've ever encountered.  10 solid hours of both vomiting and diarrhea.  I was seriously considering calling 911 at one point, but I held out and suffered through.  I'm feeling better today, though I still have a bit of discomfort, probably from gas.  I only went to work because I don't get paid for sick days.  I barely had an appetite.  I can eat solid food again though, and keep it down.  It's times like these when you learn to appreciate the basic things (like healthy digestion).

I always find myself wondering where I got a bug after the fact.  Was it at Bruegger's on Sunday afternoon, when I got a bagel sandwich for dinner?  Or was it at Wegmans earlier that day?  I'm not sure what the incubation time is for a stomach bug, but it's probably not too long.

I should be back up to 100% tomorrow.  In the meantime, it's a good thing I live alone.  No one could stand to be in this house with me tonight.  There was better air quality in northeastern France in 1916.

Catching Up

I'm a little over a month into my new job.

I work for a company that makes blood analyzers.  These are complex machines that are able to perform multiple tests on scores of blood samples at one time.  Mostly these tests have to do with ascertaining immunity.  The handful of us who were hired at the same time have just been helping out on updates so far...pitching in to make sure they go out on time.  The big project we were hired for, however, is about to begin.

This project is an analyzer that is a combination of two existing machines.  There are a number of reasons they want to create it, besides the obvious one of combining the best of two worlds.  We had a kick-off meeting on Friday for the members of our team who would be working on it.  It became apparent at the meeting that those of us who are new would be expected to do some of the technical writing for the publications associated with the device.  This was surprising to me.  It wasn't mentioned at my interview, at least, that we would be participating in any of the writing.  Technical writing is something I've never done before, and it's a very specialized form of writing with stringent rules.  I should be able to do it...I just wasn't prepared to be thrown into it on this project.

This week starts out three days of meetings at the office involving many more people for the project.  There is a palpable air of expectation and import surrounding these meetings.  I'm a little nervous about all of it.  Starting a new job is certainly an anxious event...being part of the next big thing for the company is all that and a little more.  I look forward to the challenge though.  I've felt energized since beginning this new phase of my work life, and that feeling continues as I head into this uncharted territory.

* * *

I began running outside again in late February.  Always a relief when I get to that point.  After more than two months, I was growing tired with the repetition on the treadmill.  The incentive to run diminishes when the scenery around you never changes, and your view is seriously limited by four rather drab walls.  I went to a movie and dinner with an old friend last night.  We ate at Chili's, and my meal wasn't a heavy one on its own.  The dessert I had though rendered that consideration pointless.  They have something called a Chocolate Chip Paradise Pie that really lives up to its name.  A chocolate chip brownie with a scoop of vanilla ice cream sitting on top, covered with wavy tendrils of chocolate syrup.  After all that, I was completely beyond any notion of satisfaction.  I was your typical American glutton.  I hadn't been able to run during the day due to the steady rain, but I had noticed that it had lessened greatly when I got home from dinner.  Despite it being 9:15pm, I suited up and went for a run.  Running on a full stomach is a very uncomfortable feeling.  I felt like I'd eaten bricks not long into it and well into the night.  I felt better by the time I went to bed though, and slept deeply.  I love running at odd times.  That late on a Saturday night, the windows were full of warm light, and the houses seemed to rest in a statelier repose, as if thankful not to have to shrug off the bitter, icy winds for a change.  Torrents of rainwater rushed through the storm drains I passed.  When I threw up the shades in my bedroom the next morning, a new blanket of white had replaced the soggy ground.  I went out later and shoveled my driveway...again.  I hope it's the last time for the season.

Transition

Entering a rare period of major transition now. I'm leaving the job I've held for the last 20 years and moving on to a new one. At one point, I thought I'd be able to retire from where I am currently, but the outsourcing disease has hit the legal publishing industry now too. Americans have aspired to a better life for decades now, and have achieved it, but like all phenomena, it too possesses the quality of impermanence. CEOs think we're too expensive, and that they can get just as much quality from outside the border, for far less money. I can't help but want to see it fail spectacularly.

I was very nervous heading into this job in my mid-20s. I'd only worked in retail before that. Having a degree helped, but I was beginning to wonder if I'd ever get credit for it. I recall the opening days of this job, so many years ago. The first Bush was president and the first Gulf War was still a few months away. I got very comfortable in all that time. It really was a different era then.

I thought I would be more nervous now than I am.  I guess two decades in a corporate setting with some degree of success has a way of bestowing some confidence in a callow young man. The time just feels right for this. I can't escape that feeling, no matter how much I think about it. Until Feb. 1st, I have a week or so to relax, reflect, and prepare. It's time to bring a new job to the path...to regard it all as illusory, yet give forth my best effort. This dream of life continues.

Gateway Reading

Books figure heavily in my life.  What book led me onto the Buddhist path?

That's easy.

I owe Shunryu Suzuki so much, that I'll never be able to repay.  May this book benefit countless beings.

2010 At The Movies: Altered Perceptions

On average, I make it to the theater about 9 or 10 times a year. I watch many more films through rental, but I still enjoy the theater experience for the most part. On my old blog, I always included an end-of-year list of what I saw in the theaters. It's not a best-of...it's every movie I saw there, since I see so few. I'm discerning about what I go to see though, so they are all decent films. Here was 2010 at the movies:

The Book of Eli

An apocalyptic tale directed by the Hughes Brothers (From Hell) starring Denzel Washington. Very stylized violence, as you'd expect from this directing pair, and Washington does a lot with a spare role. The story did seem a bit thin at times, but I enjoyed the atmosphere, as well as Gary Oldman in the role of villain. One early fight scene was filmed strictly in silhouette under a bridge. The desert setting and the blazing guns helped to heat up a mid-January showing.

The Lovely Bones

Peter Jackson's adaptation of the Alice Sebold novel, about a girl who is raped and murdered, and her experiences in the hereafter. There was less of the vision of Heaven than I'd hoped for in the movie, but Jackson depicted them with sharp imagination. They were the movie's highlights. It was tough for the reality-based segments to match up, but the actors performed gamely. I didn't read the book, and I don't like comparing books to movies anyway...but I thought it was worth a drive.

Shutter Island

Another film dealing with altered perceptions, Scorsese's Shutter Island marked another high point for the director. He's been on a roll the past decade. This one concerns Leo DiCaprio as a cop, traveling to an offshore asylum to investigate the disappearance of a patient. All is not as it appears, however. I suspected the denouement early on in the movie, but I enjoyed the unspooling of the narrative nonetheless. Many of Scorsese's films play like homages to the directors of his youth, this one maybe moreso than others. Mark Ruffalo has an underappreciated supporting role.

Kick Ass

Based on a Mark Millar graphic novel, this story was about a regular kid who decides to youtube his heroic impulse and becomes a viral celebrity. He adopts a super identity and ineptly attempts to fight crime...until he joins forces with a younger girl who really has the chops to beat up bad guys. Nicolas Cage plays the girl's father, and is himself a crime fighter in the Batman mold. Hit Girl, played by Chloe Moretz, is a foul-mouthed heroine who appears very innocent and normal in her more mild-mannered guise. The film was directed with kinetic and edgy joy by Matthew Vaughn, the guy who was originally named to direct the first X-Men film. Here, we get a glimpse of how he might've handled that one.

Inception

Christopher Nolan's project between Batman films. This one was a mind bender, a film that played with time and space to the point where hotel hallways spun like giant lottery ball barrels. This conceit really becomes the centerpiece of the film, while many of the characters go undeveloped. This was a flaw, but not enough to spoil the experience for me. My brain enjoyed the puzzle, and the effects were dazzling. Special kudos to the score, composed by Hans Zimmer. It was a perfect match for the visual brawn of the movie.

The American

After the requisite summer blockbuster, it was time to go small again. Despite the title, this movie took place in Italy and had a very European sensibility. George Clooney plays an assassin trying to get away from his chosen career, only to be drawn back in for one more job. Breathtaking shots of the Italian countryside alternate with life in a small Italian town as Clooney tries to blend in. The movie has the feel of an old novel, with spare dialogue and long stretches of quiet while the action plays out patiently. Directed by Anton Corbijn, who used to be a renown photographer (much of it for the band U2). A very satisfying story.

The Social Network

David Fincher, who made one of my favorite movies (Fight Club), checks in with this film about the origins of Facebook. Written by Aaron Sorkin, of West Wing and Sports Night fame, the dialogue is typically his, with the first 10 minutes or so being delivered so fast by the actors they barely have time to catch their breath. A more complete review is below. This one may get nominated for an Oscar, though I'm not sure it's up to that caliber. But Oscar seems to have become less exclusive these past couple years. Very much worth seeing though.

127 Hours

Danny Boyle is another director I pay attention to, and this is his film about the true story of Aron Ralston, a hiker who forgets to tell someone where he's going for the weekend. As a result, he loses his arm. Doyle turns a potentially very claustrophobic subject into something far more expansive and engrossing. We learn how even the smallest of decisions can have a huge impact. The camera minutely examines the small stage of Ralston's prison, from the ants who crawl over his body, to the urine he has to drink out of his water bottle just to stay alive. Boyle is responsible for another of my favorite films, Trainspotting. He's another director who's been on a roll lately. I hope it continues.

True Grit

Rounded out the year on the last day with this western from the Coen brothers. The Coens and I have often had a love/hate relationship over the years. Films of theirs I love include Miller's Crossing, The Hudsucker Proxy, and A Serious Man. The hate list includes Fargo, No Country for Old Men and Fargo. Yeah, I really didn't like Fargo. This one is a gem, however. They follow the book closely and keep much of its poetic language. There's real heartbreak and lovely western vistas shot by veteran DP Roger Deakins, who's worked with the Coens often. It was a packed house when I went to see a matinee. It may be the Coens most popular film after all is said and done, and it outshines the original by a country mile. Sorry, Duke.