Congolese Death Virus

Recovering from what has to be the worst stomach virus I've ever encountered.  10 solid hours of both vomiting and diarrhea.  I was seriously considering calling 911 at one point, but I held out and suffered through.  I'm feeling better today, though I still have a bit of discomfort, probably from gas.  I only went to work because I don't get paid for sick days.  I barely had an appetite.  I can eat solid food again though, and keep it down.  It's times like these when you learn to appreciate the basic things (like healthy digestion).

I always find myself wondering where I got a bug after the fact.  Was it at Bruegger's on Sunday afternoon, when I got a bagel sandwich for dinner?  Or was it at Wegmans earlier that day?  I'm not sure what the incubation time is for a stomach bug, but it's probably not too long.

I should be back up to 100% tomorrow.  In the meantime, it's a good thing I live alone.  No one could stand to be in this house with me tonight.  There was better air quality in northeastern France in 1916.

Catching Up

I'm a little over a month into my new job.

I work for a company that makes blood analyzers.  These are complex machines that are able to perform multiple tests on scores of blood samples at one time.  Mostly these tests have to do with ascertaining immunity.  The handful of us who were hired at the same time have just been helping out on updates so far...pitching in to make sure they go out on time.  The big project we were hired for, however, is about to begin.

This project is an analyzer that is a combination of two existing machines.  There are a number of reasons they want to create it, besides the obvious one of combining the best of two worlds.  We had a kick-off meeting on Friday for the members of our team who would be working on it.  It became apparent at the meeting that those of us who are new would be expected to do some of the technical writing for the publications associated with the device.  This was surprising to me.  It wasn't mentioned at my interview, at least, that we would be participating in any of the writing.  Technical writing is something I've never done before, and it's a very specialized form of writing with stringent rules.  I should be able to do it...I just wasn't prepared to be thrown into it on this project.

This week starts out three days of meetings at the office involving many more people for the project.  There is a palpable air of expectation and import surrounding these meetings.  I'm a little nervous about all of it.  Starting a new job is certainly an anxious event...being part of the next big thing for the company is all that and a little more.  I look forward to the challenge though.  I've felt energized since beginning this new phase of my work life, and that feeling continues as I head into this uncharted territory.

* * *

I began running outside again in late February.  Always a relief when I get to that point.  After more than two months, I was growing tired with the repetition on the treadmill.  The incentive to run diminishes when the scenery around you never changes, and your view is seriously limited by four rather drab walls.  I went to a movie and dinner with an old friend last night.  We ate at Chili's, and my meal wasn't a heavy one on its own.  The dessert I had though rendered that consideration pointless.  They have something called a Chocolate Chip Paradise Pie that really lives up to its name.  A chocolate chip brownie with a scoop of vanilla ice cream sitting on top, covered with wavy tendrils of chocolate syrup.  After all that, I was completely beyond any notion of satisfaction.  I was your typical American glutton.  I hadn't been able to run during the day due to the steady rain, but I had noticed that it had lessened greatly when I got home from dinner.  Despite it being 9:15pm, I suited up and went for a run.  Running on a full stomach is a very uncomfortable feeling.  I felt like I'd eaten bricks not long into it and well into the night.  I felt better by the time I went to bed though, and slept deeply.  I love running at odd times.  That late on a Saturday night, the windows were full of warm light, and the houses seemed to rest in a statelier repose, as if thankful not to have to shrug off the bitter, icy winds for a change.  Torrents of rainwater rushed through the storm drains I passed.  When I threw up the shades in my bedroom the next morning, a new blanket of white had replaced the soggy ground.  I went out later and shoveled my driveway...again.  I hope it's the last time for the season.

Transition

Entering a rare period of major transition now. I'm leaving the job I've held for the last 20 years and moving on to a new one. At one point, I thought I'd be able to retire from where I am currently, but the outsourcing disease has hit the legal publishing industry now too. Americans have aspired to a better life for decades now, and have achieved it, but like all phenomena, it too possesses the quality of impermanence. CEOs think we're too expensive, and that they can get just as much quality from outside the border, for far less money. I can't help but want to see it fail spectacularly.

I was very nervous heading into this job in my mid-20s. I'd only worked in retail before that. Having a degree helped, but I was beginning to wonder if I'd ever get credit for it. I recall the opening days of this job, so many years ago. The first Bush was president and the first Gulf War was still a few months away. I got very comfortable in all that time. It really was a different era then.

I thought I would be more nervous now than I am.  I guess two decades in a corporate setting with some degree of success has a way of bestowing some confidence in a callow young man. The time just feels right for this. I can't escape that feeling, no matter how much I think about it. Until Feb. 1st, I have a week or so to relax, reflect, and prepare. It's time to bring a new job to the path...to regard it all as illusory, yet give forth my best effort. This dream of life continues.

Gateway Reading

Books figure heavily in my life.  What book led me onto the Buddhist path?

That's easy.

I owe Shunryu Suzuki so much, that I'll never be able to repay.  May this book benefit countless beings.

2010 At The Movies: Altered Perceptions

On average, I make it to the theater about 9 or 10 times a year. I watch many more films through rental, but I still enjoy the theater experience for the most part. On my old blog, I always included an end-of-year list of what I saw in the theaters. It's not a best-of...it's every movie I saw there, since I see so few. I'm discerning about what I go to see though, so they are all decent films. Here was 2010 at the movies:

The Book of Eli

An apocalyptic tale directed by the Hughes Brothers (From Hell) starring Denzel Washington. Very stylized violence, as you'd expect from this directing pair, and Washington does a lot with a spare role. The story did seem a bit thin at times, but I enjoyed the atmosphere, as well as Gary Oldman in the role of villain. One early fight scene was filmed strictly in silhouette under a bridge. The desert setting and the blazing guns helped to heat up a mid-January showing.

The Lovely Bones

Peter Jackson's adaptation of the Alice Sebold novel, about a girl who is raped and murdered, and her experiences in the hereafter. There was less of the vision of Heaven than I'd hoped for in the movie, but Jackson depicted them with sharp imagination. They were the movie's highlights. It was tough for the reality-based segments to match up, but the actors performed gamely. I didn't read the book, and I don't like comparing books to movies anyway...but I thought it was worth a drive.

Shutter Island

Another film dealing with altered perceptions, Scorsese's Shutter Island marked another high point for the director. He's been on a roll the past decade. This one concerns Leo DiCaprio as a cop, traveling to an offshore asylum to investigate the disappearance of a patient. All is not as it appears, however. I suspected the denouement early on in the movie, but I enjoyed the unspooling of the narrative nonetheless. Many of Scorsese's films play like homages to the directors of his youth, this one maybe moreso than others. Mark Ruffalo has an underappreciated supporting role.

Kick Ass

Based on a Mark Millar graphic novel, this story was about a regular kid who decides to youtube his heroic impulse and becomes a viral celebrity. He adopts a super identity and ineptly attempts to fight crime...until he joins forces with a younger girl who really has the chops to beat up bad guys. Nicolas Cage plays the girl's father, and is himself a crime fighter in the Batman mold. Hit Girl, played by Chloe Moretz, is a foul-mouthed heroine who appears very innocent and normal in her more mild-mannered guise. The film was directed with kinetic and edgy joy by Matthew Vaughn, the guy who was originally named to direct the first X-Men film. Here, we get a glimpse of how he might've handled that one.

Inception

Christopher Nolan's project between Batman films. This one was a mind bender, a film that played with time and space to the point where hotel hallways spun like giant lottery ball barrels. This conceit really becomes the centerpiece of the film, while many of the characters go undeveloped. This was a flaw, but not enough to spoil the experience for me. My brain enjoyed the puzzle, and the effects were dazzling. Special kudos to the score, composed by Hans Zimmer. It was a perfect match for the visual brawn of the movie.

The American

After the requisite summer blockbuster, it was time to go small again. Despite the title, this movie took place in Italy and had a very European sensibility. George Clooney plays an assassin trying to get away from his chosen career, only to be drawn back in for one more job. Breathtaking shots of the Italian countryside alternate with life in a small Italian town as Clooney tries to blend in. The movie has the feel of an old novel, with spare dialogue and long stretches of quiet while the action plays out patiently. Directed by Anton Corbijn, who used to be a renown photographer (much of it for the band U2). A very satisfying story.

The Social Network

David Fincher, who made one of my favorite movies (Fight Club), checks in with this film about the origins of Facebook. Written by Aaron Sorkin, of West Wing and Sports Night fame, the dialogue is typically his, with the first 10 minutes or so being delivered so fast by the actors they barely have time to catch their breath. A more complete review is below. This one may get nominated for an Oscar, though I'm not sure it's up to that caliber. But Oscar seems to have become less exclusive these past couple years. Very much worth seeing though.

127 Hours

Danny Boyle is another director I pay attention to, and this is his film about the true story of Aron Ralston, a hiker who forgets to tell someone where he's going for the weekend. As a result, he loses his arm. Doyle turns a potentially very claustrophobic subject into something far more expansive and engrossing. We learn how even the smallest of decisions can have a huge impact. The camera minutely examines the small stage of Ralston's prison, from the ants who crawl over his body, to the urine he has to drink out of his water bottle just to stay alive. Boyle is responsible for another of my favorite films, Trainspotting. He's another director who's been on a roll lately. I hope it continues.

True Grit

Rounded out the year on the last day with this western from the Coen brothers. The Coens and I have often had a love/hate relationship over the years. Films of theirs I love include Miller's Crossing, The Hudsucker Proxy, and A Serious Man. The hate list includes Fargo, No Country for Old Men and Fargo. Yeah, I really didn't like Fargo. This one is a gem, however. They follow the book closely and keep much of its poetic language. There's real heartbreak and lovely western vistas shot by veteran DP Roger Deakins, who's worked with the Coens often. It was a packed house when I went to see a matinee. It may be the Coens most popular film after all is said and done, and it outshines the original by a country mile. Sorry, Duke.

Dawn Land

Just finished a graphic novel called Dawn Land, by Joseph Bruchac and Will Davis. It's based on a novel by the same name published back in 1993. I'd never heard anything about when I saw it on the shelf at Barnes and Noble. The cover struck me though, and as I flipped through and realized it was a Native American tale, I was interested.

The title refers to the place inhabited by the Abenaki people, known today as New England. They called it the Dawn Land because it was the first place in North America touched by the rays of the morning sun. The time is just after the last ice age. The ice has receded and warmer temperatures are returning. A menace is stalking the nearby villages, in the form of malicious giants who walk the earth, satiating their need for human flesh. One child watches his parents taken from him, but his life is spared. Instead, he is marked by the giants to help them later on, when he is older. As he matures, his behavior becomes more erratic, He kills animals for no reason, and attempts to rape one of the young women. He runs away from the village, and becomes a loner, responding to the giants' call when he is needed.

Enter Young Hunter, a young member of the tribe who is chosen by the ancestors to fight this menace. He is introduced to the Long Thrower, which is basically a long bow with extraordinary range and power. Armed only with this, and his knowledge of surviving in nature, he must trek north to face the giants and defeat them before they obliterate the "only people" from their homeland.

As the story develops, we're shown certain aspects of the Abenaki lore, such as a creation story, what the "deep seers" of the tribe know of the threat to their way of life. Young Hunter meets many challenges along the way, but he isn't alone. He's joined by three dogs who serve as his loyal companions and protectors. His journey is a few days in length, and it is late in the year, as the colder weather is setting in. He must contend with other tribes who are not friendly to him, and what appears to be a Sabretooth tiger, what he calls an "ancient one." By that point, there were probably few of them left, most of them having been culled by hunting or climate change.

Bruchac's prose and dialogue are natural, organic. He is a native himself, and well versed in the beliefs of his people. We are introduced to many members of the village who help and guide Young Hunter, in particular the mystic members of the tribe. Their names for everyday objects reveal the simple wisdom with which they interact with the world: the sun is the "sky walker"; a rattlesnake which bites Young Hunter is called the "brave one" or "close to the ground people". In english, these names seem rather awkward, but in the native tongue I'm sure they were more elegant.

I was enthralled from the first step of the journey, as I am often with stories and details of Native culture. Their spiritual outlook has always resonated with me, and it is something sorely missing from our modern western life. You see it in episodes from the story, as Young Hunter prepares for a "pure hunt", one where he must hunt a deer without the benefit of weapons. He is successful in the endeavor, and after accomplishing his task, thanks the deer for giving its life for him.

Davis is a veteran illustrator, and his style suits the story perfectly. He works in brushed gray tones, accentuating the timeless aspect of the tale. Many panels have no dialogue, or are written with a script that may or may not be a Native language. There was a time or two when I was a little frustrated they weren't translated, but it didn't lessen my enjoyment of the narrative, or disrupt the flow.

The three dogs who accompany Young Hunter get a lot of screen time in the book, and their interaction with him was humorous and touching. He refers to them as his "brothers", and many's the time they put their own lives in jeopardy to protect his. Bruchac mentions this in an afterword in the book, noting that people have suggested he call the book "Dog Land". He couldn't go wrong either way.

I read some comic blogs and websites, and I'm surprised this book hasn't been mentioned more often. It's easily one of the best I've read all year, if not the best. The elemental nature of the story is the perfect antidote to the rushed, structured life we lead today, with its immersion in soulless technology. I found it to be a true escape to a simpler time. It might not have been quite so comfortable back then, but it seems like it must've been more rewarding on a daily basis. To us, i-phones seem almost magical with their features and apps, but to the Abenaki of ancient times, magic was everywhere. In the rocks, trees, streams, rivers and mountains that they lived amongst. It's tragic that we've lost so much of that.

Coming Up For Air

Dusting this place off a little.  Now that my schedule has returned to a semblance of normalcy, I can sit down and get some thoughts together.

The paychecks were nice, but all the overtime had other repercussions.  I missed a couple bill payment deadlines...I neglected a few autumn chores which I'm just getting around to now...I've missed a bunch of meetups.  Being mindful of how the stress manifested in my body was kind of fascinating though.

Today I picked the rugs up from the back patio.  They are soaked, and probably weigh twice as much as normal.  I have one draped over my lawn chair and the other over the T-bar for the clothesline, to assist in drying them out.  Hopefully, they'll be dry enough by tomorrow morning.  Rain is expected around mid-day.

I'll be off to my Uncle's place tomorrow for the big feast.  I'm always in charge of bringing dessert, and this year it's an apple crumb pie and a pumpkin roll.  The pumpkin roll is new, but I think they'll dig it.  I just tried it for the first time a few weeks ago and it left a warm feeling of joy in my belly.  I want to get a run in before I leave.  Usually I'm able to do it, I'm just hoping the weather holds up in that window of time I'll have in the morning.

In spite of not being able to take the bus much, I've been continuing to read.  I want to post some reviews of what I've read as well.  I've been rediscovering the satisfaction of reading at home again.  It's meant less time online, but that's not a bad thing.

Looking forward, at last, to a long weekend.  The waves have been rough these last few months, but I'm thankful for all that I have.  I will remember this as I engage in wholesale gluttony tomorrow.